Recovery to me means seeing my life as a forward path, rather than a continuous cycle.
To me it means willingness, wisdom, trust, honesty and acceptance.
Recovery to me means taking each day as it comes, not ruminating in the past or worrying endlessly about the future.
To me it means allowing myself to feel all feelings and emotions, even the most uncomfortable ones.
Recovery is allowing myself to grow up from the little girl I used to be into the woman I was meant to be.
Recovery means accepting and honoring my body’s needs, appreciating my body and viewing it as something that is working with me, rather than against me.
To me recovery is not the expectation of never having an eating disorder thought ever again, but rather dealing with them in an accepting, kind and compassionate way. Allowing the occasionally thought to come and go, as swiftly as the summer breeze.
Recovery to me is riding though life, stumbling along the rocky path, but never turning around and trusting that my eating disorder is a ruinous coping skill, even if it seems like a comfort or a promise or a friend on the broken road.
Recovery is remembering that the appeal of the eating disorder is only him trying to disguise himself as something helpful, rather than harmful.
To me recovery is an allowance to enjoy life, in all its messy wonder. It’s active willingness to remain a recovered and authentic soul.
Recovery to me is accepting that there will be fear, anxiety and the inevitable unknown, but not to let this stop me from trying, from living, from the potential of thriving.
To me it is letting go of judgement, internally and externally. It is letting go of perfection. And turning down the volume to mute of the internal critic inside my head.
Recovery to me is a conscious everyday effort that I will endure. A path where I will hold myself sacred and where I hold others near and let them into my heart. Allowing myself to be vulnerable and accepting that everyone’s journey is different and mine is just as worthy as the next persons. ‘
Recovery isn’t an end goal, to me it is more of a beautiful, confusing, challenging, messy, wonderful, arduous, extraordinary journey.
Recovery is at every moment and everyday a choice. Its my choice. It’s the life I want to lead.